Toxic Traddism
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While not at all
a universal phenomenon in the trad world, "toxic traddism" is present
enough to warrant being talked about in a straightforward,
matter-of-fact manner.
Though relatively few trads are "toxic trads," the "toxic trads" that
be tend to be loud on the internet and, so, capable of tainting how
traditional Catholicism is seen from the outside.
What is "toxic traddism"? It's psychopathology posing as piety. It's a
sort of gnosticism that's used to put
Band-Aids on feelings of uncertainty, anomie, and emotional pain, and
to exert control over others. It's rooted in a failure to master the
moral virtues, and a rejection of the theological virtues, especially
Faith and Charity; when present in a group of people, it looks like
spiritually dangerous, psychologically unhealthy cult-like behavior.
It's a phenomenon found in those for whom Tradition is less about the
Faith than it is about
a means to instill order over their own chaotic minds and emotions, and
over their personal world.
How is toxic traddism manifest? It's manifest in arrogance,
busy-bodying, LARPing1, finger-pointing, paranoia, gossip,
over-protection of children, spousal abuse, mistaking "modern" for
"modernist,"
prudery, the raising of personal opinions to the level of dogma,
hyper-vigilance against perceived evils and enemies, making the
perfect the enemy of the good, inordinate "cancel-culturing," lack of
humor, lack of
empathy and charity for certain types of sinners (you know, the ones
whose sins are different from those manifest by, or admitted to by, the
toxic types), baseless conspiracy-mongering
(which is not to say that some conspiracies are not true), and other
such
unpleasant behaviors. Though the gates of Hell will never prevail
against Christ's Church, people who manifest these sorts of toxic
behaviors work against the cause of preserving and spreading the Faith,
whether they realize it or not (and they likely don't).
These are the people who may well put decades of work into raising
children who will flee from the holy religion
the first chance they get because of the environment in which they've
been raised, and the way in which the Faith has been shown to them.
Toxic traddism must be called out -- vehemently. These sorts of
behaviors and attitudes destroy families, and drive people away from
Christ's Church.
Below are some things to look out for in yourself and your community.
Are you a toxic
trad? You might be if you:
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treat
the Holy Faith like a mere philosophy (merely knowing what you know
won't save you). Don't equate having a living, saving faith with coming
to an intellectual conclusion (see I Corinthians 13:1-8). Don't treat
having faith as something you've accomplished rather than as a
supernatural gift -- a gift you've not at all earned, a gift offered to
everyone on the planet, a gift you don't "own," a gift that must be
embraced and lived and not simply acknowledged to exist (James 2:14-26
"Thou
believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also
believe, and tremble") |
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treat
with disdain good-willed and charitable folks who haven't come to
your intellectual conclusions (do you speak of those who attend Novus
Ordo Masses as "Protestants"? As not as "good" or smart as you are?
With
contempt?); |
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have
no idea what Jesus meant when He said, "Not that which goeth into
the mouth defileth a man: but what cometh out of the mouth, this
defileth a man" (Matthew 15:11); |
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pit
Truth against Charity; |
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don't
say (or intellectually believe) but act as if "the
ends justify the means"; |
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like
the idea of people who disagree with you burning in Hell; |
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treat
your chapel or parish like your personal club, closed down to
newcomers, whom you stare at, never smile at, search for problems in,
have no patience with, treat as irredeemable if they don't know all the
rules and "culture" yet, and turn away with your sour attitude and
demeanor; |
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are
OK with turning folks away from Christ, His Church, and Tradition if it
means you get to vent your rage or be proven right in an argument; |
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never
admit you're wrong; |
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treat
others as if you have no faith in grace, no trust
that people can change, learn, and grow, and, therefore, you hold
people's pasts against them; |
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are
really fond of "admonishing sinners" without caring at all about the
Church's teachings about whether,
when, and how to go about that; |
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ignore
Pope St. Pius X's words from E
Supremi:
"But in order that the desired fruit may be derived from this
apostolate and this zeal for teaching, and that Christ may be formed in
all, be it remembered, Venerable Brethren, that no means is more
efficacious than charity. 'For the Lord is not in the earthquake' - it
is vain to hope to attract souls to God by a
bitter zeal. On the contrary, harm is done more often than good by
taunting men harshly with their faults, and reproving their vices with
asperity"; |
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treat
non-traditional Catholics and non-Catholics as immoral and bad rather
than simply
uninformed and beloved and, quite possibly, very naturally virtuous --
maybe even more virtuous than you; |
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mistake
ignorance for innocence; |
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think
that anything "modern" is "modernist"; |
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mistake
"secular" for "evil";
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treat
sins of weakness the same as sins of malice; |
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hear
certain words ("homosexual," "modern," etc.) and have
instantaneous and irrational reactions, coming to conclusions -- which
you express with great vehemence -- without thinking for one
minute; |
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love
to copy-paste wallls of text out of context in order to win debates
("win" being
the operative word) a discussion (wait: "discussion"? No such thing!
There are only debates!); |
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have
in mind a specific time period of the Church that you see as Her
"golden age" (likely either the Middle Ages, the Victorian era, or the
1950s), which you romanticize inordinately; |
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treat
the Faith in an escapist manner by engaging in LARPing, such as
using words in an outdated way to prove how counter-cultural you are
(e.g., "courting" instead of "dating," or "maiden" instead of "girl"),
dressing oddly, feigning scandal at things you've seen pretty much
every day of your life, etc. (note that "styling," having a preferred
aesthetic, or being a tad quirky are different from LARPing). Some
folks prone to LARPing tend also to be prone to drama, making
everything an opera. They don't cry, they "weep"; they don't eat, they
"dine", they don't marry, they "wed", etc. They crank everything up to
11 and wrap it in histrionic language (Ex. Once, after I had to ban
someone from the discussion forum for rudeness and making false
reports, I got a complaint about it that started out with "You have
tied [name withheld] to a stake and burned him for heresy all for
standing up to the True Faith" and was followed by his asking "why
have you betrayed your own brother and symbolically cast him into the
outer darkness?" Buh-ruther!); |
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you're
more into warped ideas of "burning heretics" or joining a "Crusade"
than of putting on Christ (note: Grasshopper, masculinity is a great
thing -- a much undervalued and needed thing -- and men need ways to
exercise fortitude and their instinct to protect. There are ways to go
about this, though. And ways not to.); |
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think
attending the traditional Mass offered "inside the structures" is
co-operating
with evil; |
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never
give the Pope the benefit of the doubt when
possible, always interpet his words in the worst way possible,
assign motives to him that you can't possibly know, and talk about it
all with great disrespect for him; |
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love
to find dirt on people and dish it up; |
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love
to make things up about people or distort things if you can't fnd
any real dirt to dish up; |
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hear
what you want to hear and see what you want to see, with what
you're wanting
to see and hear being
things that really get you mad and, therefore, having to admonish
someone; |
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think
"scandal" is defined as "a situation in which one is made to
clutch one's pearls" or "a situation in which you pretend to feel
'shocked'" -- and love to find "scandal" and often claim to be
"scandalized"; |
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love
to make assumptions and leap to conclusions about things you know nothing about and
then proclaim "scanda!" (e.g., "They share housing? That means they're
having sex! Scandal! Fornicators!"); |
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put
people into categories of "good" or "bad" and then expect no good
from the "bad," and no bad from the "good." The "good" (certain
conservative groups, for ex.) are always right, and
the "bad" (e.g., a liberal group) are always wrong,
etc. That sort of group-think, identity politics-style gangbanging has
no place
in Catholicism; |
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are
unwilling to see any wrongdoing in your own parish, chapel, family,
community, group of priests, etc., and
are willing to lie to cover up wrongdoing that needs to be made known; |
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are
always making the perfect as the enemy of the good, and, don't just
ignore, but excoriate and shun people who don't share your
obsessions, or who make a mistake or sin, or who might be right 99% of
the time but, with no malice, hold to some error (ex., "Mr. X
does
most things wonderfully and is almost always right, but he doesn't talk
about Y. Therefore, he's a gelded modernist and a not-worth-a-damn
enemy!" or "I thought Mr. Y's books were great. But then he said
something I disagreed with or committed a sin I'm not prone to
committing, so I burned all of his works. That's how good I am!" or "Don't go to that
website/watch that movie; the person who made it is one of 'them.'").
In other words, you refuse to see any value in anyone or anything that
is less than pristine (in your view); |
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ignore
the subtleties and complexities of human psychology. Not only is
your motto not "Homo sum,
humani nihil a me alienum puto" ("I am human; nothing human is
alien to me"), but the human is terrifying -- and, of course
"scandalous!" -- to you;
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have
a strange view of mental or emotional problems and ascribe all of them
to the individual's personal sin or the demonic or some such; |
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lack
a sense of humor; |
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advocate
non-defensive violence; |
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think
that an occasion of sin for you is an
occasion of sin for everyone, and, therefore, accuse people of sinning
by putting themselves in "near occasions of sin" that aren't near
occasions of sin for them, but are for you (for ex., a song makes you
feel/think X, and X is bad; therefore, no one should ever listen to
that song because it makes you
feel/think X.); |
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are
incapable of nuanced thought and are always throwing out babies with
their bathwater (e.g., you know that many psychologists operate with
wrong premises about human nature, so you throw shade on psychology as
a whole; you know that many scientists have materialist worldviews
marked by scientism, so you are paranoid about actual science, etc.)
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think
anyone liking any music but Gregorian chant and maybe folk or
country is being immoral; |
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hang
on to a notion if it "sounds" trad, even though it isn't; |
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answer
others' questions with authoritative-sounding guesses instead of "I
don't know," and respond to their doubts with "how dare you?" instead
of assuring them that if there's a teaching they don't understand, the
answer is out there and you will help them find it;
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treat
objects or various technologies as evil in themselves; |
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are
unwilling to face painful truths, especially painful truths about
yourself; |
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hide
likes, dislikes, and other aspects of yourself away not because they
are sinful or simply private, but out of fear that someone might
disapprove; |
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think
it's worthy of a 20-page thread to ask and answer questions like,
"Is it OK to sneeze while you pray the Rosary?" Seriously, God isn't
retarded. And, if you're reading this, neither are you, most likely.
Stop.; |
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act
like a child and run to consult with a priest for every little
thing. Grow up and quit foisting responsibility for your life and
decisions on to someone else.; |
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call
someone a "radical feminist" because he thinks things like equal
pay for equal work are good things; |
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take
out on your wife and daughters your (understandable) rage at feminists;
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you
think sex is dirty, have no humor about it, and mistake prudishness for
chastity and modesty. Weirdly, though, you see sex and filth everywhere
-- even where it isn't. You never
say words like "penis" or "vagina" or talk frankly about sexual
matters, and frown on those who do, even if they're careful to go about
it in a manner that wouldn't incite lust in the average person; |
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judge,
look down on, or gossip about couples who are childless or have no or
"too
few" children, assuming they practice artificial contraception; |
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equate
modesty with ugly or outdated (think "Little House on the
Prairie") attire, and force it on your daughters, thereby setting them
up to feel like social freaks (who will likely rebel at the first
chance they get); |
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treat
a woman's wearing of pants as intrinsically evil, and raise your
opinion on the matter to the level of dogma; |
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are
female and a masochist who denigrates your own intelligence,
dreams of fainting couches, and thinks all other women need to be like
you, or are of either sex and engage in masochism while positioning it
as sanctity; |
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are
male and mistake cruelty or machismo for masculinity, treat your wife
like a slave or child, and treat your children like products who need
to reflect you back to yourself or be punished; |
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think
that all women
belong only either at home as homemakers or in a convent, no matter who
they are or what their gifts and challenges are; |
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confuse
the word "effeminate" (meaning morally soft, lacking in
fortitude, given to luxury) with "feminine" (relating to women);
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ostracize
any man
who isn't
"manly enough" because his interests aren't typical of men (or like
yours), or bully women who aren't "womanly enough" because their
interests or personae are more typical of males; |
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seriously
believe
that "ideas aren't for girls"; |
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are
unwilling to differentiate between the general and the specific (e.g.,
you know that it's a fact that women, as a group, are more prone to
neuroticism than men, as a group, are, so conclude that "no woman
should ever be in a leadership position"); |
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think
that emotions are for sissies and "mere" women, unless it's
anger, which is always "righteous" if it's coming from you; |
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focus
only on Ephesians 5:24 ("Therefore as the church is subject to
Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things.") and
forget what comes after in Ephesians 5:25 ("Husbands, love your wives,
as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it"),
treating the Church's teaching on the submission of wives to their
husbands as a right of husbands to treat their wives like maids,
children, slaves, and general non-persons; |
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think
not that fathers and husbands are the heads of their homes, but
that men are the heads of women; |
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have
a strange view of disease, deformity, poverty, and other afflictions
such as you see them as punishment from God not in any general "wages
of original sin" sense, but in individual cases; |
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hate homosexuals, and talk about them in a
highly denigrating way that ensures your children would never be honest
with you if they were to struggle with same sex attraction themselves;
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think
and write as if every homosexual is an active homosexual and a
homosexual activists
who is out to destroy the Church and Western civilization, and who is
automatically willing to have sex with any other
homosexual (such that you think things like "two homosexuals should
never be left alone together because it'd be a near occasion of sin,"
etc., blah blah). You also think about homosexuality only in terms of
sexual
acts, forgetting about eros, the desire for communion with another,
love and affection, and the complexity of human psychology; |
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are
not merely a race realist (i.e., able to see differences in group averages), but are a supremacist,
thinking one race is
ontologically superior to another; devalue individuals because of race;
and/or think "miscegenation" is
against Catholic teaching (it isn't); |
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don't
just simply know what post-Temple Judaism teaches, understand something
about the history of usury and its effects, or about the power of
AIPAC, etc., but talk about these things with no prudence whatsoever
and think that anyone with Jewish heritage is a nefarious creature, in
on some conspiracy, and automatically damned to Hell; |
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raise
your children in a joyless environment marked by unnecessary
rules that you rigidly, mercilessly enforce; |
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never
apologize to your children; |
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over-protect
your children so that they feel like weirdos who are unable to deal
with the
world; |
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lie
or exaggerate to your children to make them afraid of the world (don't
mistake ignorance for innocence!); |
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don't
allow your children to pursue their interests, use their gifts,
or express themselves (all within reason, of course -- where "reason"
means "reason" and not concern over the lip-flapping of others) because
those interests, gifts, or desires aren't typical of the sex they
belong to, or aren't what you personally wish for them; |
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foster
in your children the idea that sex is shameful or that their bodies are
dirty instead of wonderfully-made temples of God with certain parts
that are so beautiful and special that they should be kept private (if
you don't teach your children about sex, the world will, and the world
will get it wrong); |
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don't
affirm your children emotionally, and teach them not to master
their emotions (to understand them and act on them appropriately), but
to quash them, to ignore them, to stuff them down
and hide them away. And you likely do the same thing with your
emotions, and your friends' emotions. You set a tone which makes it
clear that things you find "scandalous" or unpleasant can't be
mentioned or discussed
with any reason or compassion; |
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are
obsessed with the demonic or have a habit of attributing to the
preternatural what is actually natural; |
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are
involved in a cult of personality with regard to some alleged "seer"
or "prophet";
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converted
from Protestantism and hang on to aspects of it; |
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are
incapable of nuanced thought about things such as evolution, ghosts,
dancing, women in
trousers, astrology, amusement parks, the age of the earth, geocentrism
or
heliocentrism or other attempts to discern the center of the universe,
tobacco
use,
card-playing, poker, boxing, the color red, various symbols that look
creepy to you
(like black and
white
check floor tiling
patterns, the mano cornuta hand sign, etc.), and other random things,
but have extremely strong
opinions about
them which you go on about in the manner of Jack Chick; |
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never
met a conspiracy theory you didn't adhere to (which is not to say that
conspiracies don't exist, obviously, but you go for wacky, baseless
ones by instinct, never attributing to coincidence or weakness what can
be attributed to malicious conspiring by evil-doers); |
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like
to quash the enthusiasm of priests who are new to Tradition and who are
still in the learning phases of knowing how to offer the traditional
Mass. You watch vulture-like for any mistake, any misstep, so you can
run to social media and rant about it, making the priest sorry he even
tried to make a move toward Tradition; |
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are
prone to certain defense mechanisms, especially denial, repression,
displacement, intellectualization,
rationalization, and projection -- all of which you mistake for virtue; |
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notice
(or not) that you have a record of spoil-sporting, ruining parties,
harshing
mellows, mucking vibes, and
otherwise lowering the temperature of rooms when you walk into them. |
I
pray that those for whom any of the above are true will read Conversion of the Heart and Judging Others. I pray they start to
take a deep look into their psyches and start to sort through it all,
facing their fears, grief, rage, or shame with fortitude and humility,
and looking
for instances of repression, projection, and displacement. I pray they
ask Christ for the gifts of Faith, Hope, and Charity. I pray they ask
forgiveness of Christ and others. And I pray they seek counseling
before they destroy themselves and their families.
A Note to Those
Whose Lives Are Being Made Hellish by the Toxic: You Belong
If you find yourself surrounded by "toxic trads," don't let them make
you doubt yourself, your "worthiness," or whether you belong in
Christ's Church. If you don't fit in with their aesthetics and in-group
ways of doing things, so be it; you nonetheless belong in Christ's
Church. If you're a woman who
always wears pants, has
short hair, and fells trees for a living, you belong. If you're a
misfit
eccentric, an outlier given to doing the surprising and odd just for
fun, you
belong.
If you're a man who suffers from same sex
attraction, loves designing clothes, and speaks with very sibillant
esses, you belong. If you love listening to heavy metal and hanging out
in
mosh pits, you belong. If you're a tomboy who hates to get dressed up
and
prefers softball over sewing, you belong. If you're covered in
tats and spent
time in jail, you belong. If you had a wild, sex-filled past that
you've repented of, you belong. If you wear nothing but black and call
yourself "Goth," you belong. If you're an addict doing his best to give
up his sin but stumbles
periodically and repents when he does, you belong. If you struggle with
meth, have lost all your teeth, and don't have nice clothes to wear to
Mass, you belong. If you're tormented by "identity issues," you belong.
If you've had an abortion or helped cause a girlfriend to get one, you
belong. If you're "on the spectrum" and find socializing excrutiating
and inscrutable, you belong. If your faith sometimes wavers and you
have doubts but you don't willingly resist the Church's dogma, you
belong. Whatever may be your
nationality, ethnic group, race, or former religion, you belong. If
you're thrice divorced and came to Christ late in life, you belong. So
long as you're baptized, love Christ, confess the
Church's four creeds, embrace Tradition, repent of your
sins as needed, and strive for virtue,
you belong.
Let no one keep you from Christ and His Church. Ever.
Footnotes:
1 LARP is an acronym for "Live Action
Role-Playing," a sort of game in which players dress up and act out the
game's plot. It is used, too, for people who engage in historical
re-enactment. Someone who "LARPs" in the sense used on this page is
using a fake persona, a sort of
social mask. He's a poseur. |
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