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VII.
Training for Life's Work and Play
In the
preceding chapter, we considered the Christian idea of work. We saw how
this idea means, practically, that we can each in our own degree and
way, work with Christ in His four-fold work of making, ruling, teaching
and uniting men to God; that we can work for Christ by serving Him in
serving one another's needs; and by this service, if it is true
service, on however humble a level, we can help to build up His
kingdom, both by the merit of our charity and by the objective effects
of our work itself. How can we, then, best communicate this idea of
work to our children and how can we best train them for it?
The first means must surely be to try to give them an ever-increasing
appreciation of the sacrament of Confirmation. When the children are
still quite young, we could, perhaps, ask our pastor to show us the
actual Holy Oils as they are treasured in our parish church, and to
explain the use of each. The children have already been anointed with
the Oil of Catechumens and with Holy Chrism at Baptism; and we could
tell even those who are small something of the meaning of these
anointings; of why oil is used, of why a fragrant perfume is added to
the oil to make Chrism, and so on. The children have already
experienced many of the various uses of oil in daily life; it should
not be too hard to give them the basic idea of sacramental anointings.
Then we could take the opportunity of the blessing of the Holy Oils
each Holy Thursday to go over with the children the glorious prayers of
the Consecration of Chrism (and of the other Oils as well), and, when
it is practical, we could attend the Bishop's Mass in our Cathedral.
Again, we can do whatever is needful to supplement the instruction each
child is given for the reception of the sacrament itself. We can
emphasize the spiritual dignity and responsibility and maturity which
Confirmation implies. And we can also emphasize its dynamic quality,
that it gives them the right and makes them able to do special things
for Christ.
In particular we can begin to show them that this glorious sacrament
"penetrates them through and through with Christ's kingly, priestly,
and prophetic honor...clothes them with the robes of special office"
(Consecration of Holy Chrism) so that they can share in Our Lord's work
of ruling and teaching and of the lay priesthood.
We can here begin to show them the connections between their daily
jobs, their small responsibilities to each other, their participation
in the Mass, with the effects of this sacrament. We can also go over
the text of the administration of the sacrament of Confirmation and
show them how these Gifts of the Holy Spirit which they are to receive
are the special equipment that they need for living and working as
grown-up Christians, in, with, and for Christ.
And each anniversary of a child's Confirmation can also be used to
deepen the lessons of the great day itself, to integrate these lessons
with all the new experiences and responsibilities of the past year. In
particular we can try to connect the sacrament practically in their
minds with their daily work, with their lessons, with all their
training for the future, and, as they grow older, with their ideas of
what their life's work might be.
Is young John, for example, age 14, trying to cooperate with the gift,
let us say, of counsel? When he doesn't know what to do in a given
situation, does he raise his mind and heart, does he think of asking
the Holy Spirit? Does he then take all the prudent human means of
consulting parents or older friends about how to face a similar
situation in the future, and then ask the Holy Spirit to give him a
greater share in the gift of counsel for the next occasion? Is he
studying his religion lessons so as to cooperate as fully as possible
with the Holy Spirit and His gifts of wisdom, understanding and
knowledge, so that later on the Spirit of Love will be able to use him
to tell other people about the wonderful works of God?
Perhaps the anniversary of each child's Confirmation could be used in
such a way for a kind of personal check-up on the use of the graces of
this sacrament, while during the novena for the great feast of
Pentecost and the feast itself, the whole family could cultivate an
appreciation of the sacrament of Confirmation and of its wonderful
practical effects in our lives.
But, of course, none of this will be of much value to our children if
we ourselves are not trying to show the effects of Confirmation in our
own daily living and working, if we mothers and fathers are not trying
to work with and for Christ in whatever we do, as we share in His
priestly, kingly, and prophetic honor.
As far as we mothers are concerned, it is not very hard for us to see
how we ought to go about the day's work; the difficulty lies in trying
actually to do it that way. For in our lives with our family, in our
housework, in whatever we do over and above for our parish and our
community, we women are usually concerned with meeting basic human
needs, providing basic human services for people whom we personally
know and love.
We can easily see, then, how our day's work consists of the whole
four-fold work of mankind, the four-fold work of Christ. We share in
His work of making by means of all our housework; we share in His work
as Prophet as we answer the children's endless questions, in His work
as Ruler when we discipline and train them. We can easily see how we
are working for Christ in His members, in our husband, children, and
neighbors. And we can see also how we are working to build up His
kingdom by assisting our husbands in their life-work and by helping to
build up and educate His future co-workers, our children.
Our difficulty is, of course, actually to carry out our work every day
in the spirit and manner which this all implies. But, surely, some
effort to think about the real significance of all the jobs we are
doing, and much prayer to our Lady and St. Joseph, will help us to give
that example of a Christian at work which our children should be
finding in us.
As the children grow older, while we give them explicitly the ideal of
Christian work, we can, perhaps, correct the inevitable defects of our
example by giving them also some understanding of our own special
difficulties--physical weakness, previous lack of training, etc.--as
well as of our weakness and sinfulness, which have prevented us from
fully realizing the ideal.
The father's part of this task of giving an example of Christian work
is far more difficult than the mother's, yet it is, in many ways, even
more important. For if the breadwinner of the family is doing his best
with the help of God to win the bread in a Christian way, then the
children will easily realize that integral Christian living in the real
world is possible; that the effort to re-establish all things in Christ
is a realistic program for every Christian; that man's chief channel
for that effort can be and should be his own daily job. But if the
father is not even considering his own work in such a light, it must be
very difficult for the mother to feel that in being his "helpmate" she
is helping Christ, and it would be doubly difficult to show the
children how a real man can be Christ's co-worker within the frame of
ordinary work and life.
One aspect of a father's task, then, would seem to be the work of
examining his own job or profession in the light of Christian
principles of work, to consider seriously how he personally might carry
out his work in a more fully Christian way; and, how he might, on
however small a scale, begin to work to bring about the changes in the
whole set-up or profession which would make it more possible or more
easy for everyone concerned in it to work in a more fully Christian
way.
One of the best ways of undertaking this task would be, surely,
wherever it is possible, to gather together any like-minded men in
one's neighborhood to discuss together the problems of each man's job
or profession in the light of the principles of Christian work.13
Another and most important means of communicating the Christian idea of
work to our children is by our own habits and methods of purchasing
goods and services. It is, of course, impossible to be perfectly
consistent as a Christian purchaser in today's world. But we can at
least try, with the money and time and energy at our disposal, to
patronize preferably those workmen on every level who are on the way
toward Christian norms, rather than those who are working against these
norms. Already, for example, most of us are aware of our duty not to
patronize industries and stores which allow bad working conditions,
wages, and so on, if we know about it; and we could make it our
business to find out more about such matters.
We could also begin to consider the fact, admitted by anyone with much
experience in the retail field, that almost every "bargain" means that
somebody is getting cheated out of a just wage or price; or that one
customer is paying for another customer's advantage; or that the
purchaser is simply not getting a bargain at all, even though it is
labeled as one. We can begin to take a good look at the "I'll get it
for you wholesale" or the "I'll give you a good discount on that" type
of salesmanship, and see what they imply all down the line from first
producer to final consumer.14
We could, perhaps, spend at least the same amount of time as we now
spend in hunting bargains in trying to find out where we can buy good
things, produced by people who are really trying to do good work and
serve their neighbor's needs. We could try to patronize the stores
that, so far as we can tell, really try to give real service rather
than talk about it; and to avoid those which clearly pander to vice by
selling obscene magazines and comics, etc., and also those whose avowed
policy is to drive all competitors out of the neighborhood or field in
order to make more profits for themselves. And we could try to apply
such a policy all up and down the line of the goods and services we
need: in choosing our doctor, our lawyer, our banker, our investments
(if any!) and so on.
Such a buying policy might seem to involve an impossible drain on the
ordinary family's budget. But, as a matter of fact and in most cases,
it would actually work out to the economic benefit of a family, since,
for one thing, consistent purchasing at stores whose chief aim is to
make profits for their owners, results in the customer's getting less
than his money's worth over the years.
The family purchasing policy recommended here is certainly more in
accord with the Christian idea of work (let alone of justice and
charity) than is the policy of getting things as cheaply as possible
for the benefit of one's own family (or community for that matter) at
the expense of other families and other people. To try to buy in a
Christian way is also in accord with the Christian idea of poverty, for
it will mean that we have fewer and better things than if we always buy
what is cheapest and easiest to get.15
We need, then, to try to give our children the Christian idea of work,
especially in connection with the sacrament of Confirmation (and,
obviously, with taking part in the Mass); we need also to give them
this idea by means of our own example, both as workers and as patrons
of other people's work. And besides, we need to make sure that the
children's education includes basic training in all the four types of
work, and in the Christian way of carrying them out as skillfully as
possible for the love of Christ in our neighbor.
Every whole life, every vocation, every profession and most jobs
require some skill in all four kinds of work, with the emphasis on one
or two. Everyone needs to know how to make and to do a number of
things, as well as how to share natural and supernatural truth with
others, and how to exercise authority. And every Christian needs to
know the basic skills of his lay priesthood, in particular how to take
full and active part in the Mass (including what comes after the Ite
Missa est), how to pray with the Church, how to continue all his life
to grow in Christ by taking part in the liturgy.
We owe it to our children, then, to make sure that they get basic
training in making and doing, in communicating and having something to
communicate, in exercising authority, and in acting as members of the
royal priesthood of the Church. For if we do not, our children will be
less able to choose their life-work rightly, not knowing their own
chief abilities; and they will be crippled in carrying out their life-
work since they will not enter on it as well-rounded, complete
co-workers with Christ.
How handicapped is the mother or father, for example, who never learned
before marriage the fundamental skills involved in housekeeping and
house-keeping-up, or who has never learned how to exercise any kind of
authority until required to do so by the inescapable necessity of
managing small children!
What, then, will this four-fold training involve in the pattern of
daily family life? First of all, that we do not leave the children's
religious education entirely to "Sister," but make sure ourselves, as
she cannot, that our children are really learning to take part in the
Mass, to pray both formally and informally, to understand God's truth
in such a living fashion that they can begin to communicate it to
others.
Again, we can plan how to give each of the children some chance to
"run" things, to exercise authority over others, in carrying out
household jobs or family projects, so that we can help them to learn
what authority should mean--the good of the job and of one's fellow
workers--and give them some real training and practice in exercising it
during all their formative years.
We need also to plan how best to give the children some basic training
in all the major forms of human communication: speaking, writing, the
fine arts, dancing; as well as in gathering the knowledge and wisdom
necessary in order to have something worth communicating to one's
neighbor.
And we need to see that they gain the basic skills in making and doing
required for ordinary human living, cooking, cleaning, washing,
mending, repairing, care of animals, etc. We need also to make the
effort to see that the children do whatever they are doing as
thoroughly and as well as is possible under the circumstances; and that
they do and learn to do things thoroughly and well, as far as possible,
for the sake of Christ and for the sake of other people rather than
simply for self-satisfaction or self-improvement.
At first sight, this may well seem like an impossible program for any
parents even to begin to carry out. But when we begin to consider what
it would involve in actual practice, we see that in trying to make sure
that the children are being thus fully prepared for Christian life and
work, we shall be at least on the way toward solving various other
major problems of family life, perhaps the very problems which make
such a complex program at first seem out of the question.
For one thing, the more we succeed in training the children to exercise
due authority and to assume due responsibility in family life, the less
squabbling will there be, and the less will we have to bear the whole
weight of responsibility. Again, the more we succeed in teaching the
children how to do household tasks reasonably well, the less will our
own energy be overtasked by having to do everything ourselves. And, in
so far as we can ourselves teach our children the basic skills involved
in human making and communication, we will be solving also the problems
of family recreation and of training the children in habits of
Christian play.
The habit of reading that fosters a knowledge and love of truth, real
imagination, the knowledge and skillful use of words, for example, or
drawing, painting, making pottery or "sculping," singing, dancing,
making up stories and plays, acting, carpentry work, gardening, etc.,--
all of these skills are tools both for working and playing, depending
on what they are done for and how they are done. Of course, we cannot
ourselves teach our children how to do all these things well, but we
can at least let them try to work with us, not only in sweeping and
dusting and tidying, but in making essential repairs, trying to grow
our own vegetables, or whatever naturally interesting family project
may be under way. And we can also do something to give the children
whatever slight skill we may be able to recover from our own childhood,
if we have no more, in singing and painting and so on, so that they may
at the same time learn the basic skills of artistic communication, the
basic skills of grown-up play, and, actually be playing with us (as
well as learning how to play without us).
One difficulty here is, of course, that most of us have to contend with
our own long-established bad habits of seeking distraction in some more
or less passive form of entertainment rather than in true recreation.
Work and play are the same for the Wisdom of God: "I was with Him
forming all things, playing before Him at all times." But for us human
beings, work is basically differentiated from play by the fact that in
working we have a motive beyond the activity itself (to serve our own
or others' needs, to build up the kingdom of God, to do a good job, to
earn a living) while in playing we have no other explicit, conscious
motive than that of doing for fun what we are doing. And for us, fallen
children of Adam, work also involves drudgery (conscious effort sus-
tained far beyond the point of interest or delight) whereas play does
not.
Play or recreation, however, should not be primarily passive, any more
than should work. We are made in the image of God who is pure Act. We
are made primarily to act; rest is only necessary because of the
weakness of our physical nature. Recreation and play should, therefore,
delightfully exercise our powers, especially those which are mainly
unused by our day's work.16
It would seem, then, that the more passive the form of entertainment or
recreation, the less it has any legitimate place in normal living. The
proper role of most "good" or "harmless" television shows, radio
programs, detective stories, movies, etc., is that of soothing, amusing
and entertaining invalids or shut-ins or very elderly people, or those
who are so completely exhausted by inhuman forms of work or the inhuman
strains of modern life that they do not have the energy for true
re-creation.
Here is another difficulty about any sort of family play: most of us
parents think that we are in this last condition. But let us make sure
that there is nothing that we can do to increase our energy (such as
getting to bed early two or three nights a week), before we entirely
give up the idea of trying to play with our children!
A more serious objection is that most of us suffer in one way or
another from that American snobbishness of "I never could draw a
straight line...I just can't sing a note..." which we ourselves were
trained to think sufficient excuse for not being fully human, not
possessing some of the basic skills of all mankind. And the greatest
difficulty of all lies in the habits and ways of thought of our whole
modern society, of which the children will feel the pressure more and
more increasingly as they grow up.
But we can all do something, beginning with the natural talents and
with the already existing interests of ourselves and the children; and
we can try to make their increasingly active interests call on new and
greater skills of various kinds. The ideal, of course, is to center the
family's work and play and acquisition of skills on the daily and
seasonal liturgy, and so grow up integrally in wisdom and age and
grace. To celebrate a feast or fast by special household work, singing
special songs, praying special prayers, acting out some relevant scene,
etc...., all this makes the most truly integrated and Christian method
of family life and training.
Too many of us, certainly, simply cannot imagine ourselves or our
children (especially teen-age children) being willing or able to live
consistently according to such a program. But we can all start from
wherever we and the children are, and from their already existing
interests, and try to begin from there to make our recreation truly
re-creative.
And there is another vitally important effect of proper training in
work and play, an effect which is so essential to the children's future
Christian lives that no effort can be too great to achieve it. This is
that the children retain and continue to grow in enjoyment of doing,
and of doing for others. Children are naturally participants in, not
passive spectators of, worship and work and play. Many of the forces
bent on the destruction of Christianity are out to destroy this natural
tendency, to make passivity and enjoyment seem inseparable, to make
normal activity of body or mind seem unnatural and disagreeable, so
that human nature may be remoulded to the image of a machine, instead
of to that of God, who is pure Act.
One of our special responsibilities as parents today is, then, to see
to it that our children's natural interest in real and rightful doing
receives its proper nourishment, encouragement and guidance; that we do
not let it die out for lack of something to do or for lack of materials
and training, or be smothered out of existence by a surfeit of
passively-enjoyed pleasures.
For example, how many a small child's desire to sing has been murdered
by some teacher who told him to keep quiet because he had a voice like
a crow. The teacher wanted her chorus to "sound well" to the other
teachers and to parents, when she should have wanted all her pupils to
learn to use their voices as God intended, for His praise and their own
joy. Or, again, how many a child's normal desire to paint and draw has
died an unnatural death because he "had no talent," as his teachers or
parents thought, and so was given no help at the critical age when he
began to care how his productions looked to himself and to other
people.
How many a young gardener or cook has been thwarted by lack of his
parent's interest and help, because it was easier for them to do things
by themselves than to teach him to help. When their normal desire to do
things is frustrated, both children and grown-ups take refuge in
passivity and escapism, or in vandalism (which is a form of escapism),
or worse; and the means of taking refuge are all too easy to find
today.
Since this is true in worship and in work and in play, let us encourage
our children by every means our ingenuity can suggest, in every sphere,
to become "doers of the word and not hearers only." Nor need we fear
that in so doing we shall turn our children into mere activists. On the
contrary, training in true, purposeful, skillful, charitable action is
the best possible preparation for true contemplation. It is training in
passive inaction which leads to purposeless, nervous over-activity. How
can we expect the children to delight in Him who is pure Act, unless
they learn to delight in human actions that have the beauty of
rightness and skill and charity?
The aim of all our home training in work and play, then, should be that
the children not only know how to go about the fundamental kinds of
work and the skills of human living, that they have the spiritual,
emotional and physical skills needed for truly human and Christian
recreation, but, above all, that they have never un-learned the lesson
all children know, that real happiness is to be found in true human
action, not in "being amused."
And, beyond this, we need to encourage them to find their joy not only
in action, but in generous action. Some children know this
instinctively; others have to learn it by more or less difficult
lessons all through the years of their lives. But we can assist the
work of grace by giving the children the skills to be generous with; by
showing them how to use them to give pleasure to others; by making
generosity seem the normal and happy quality it should be in our family
life; by rewarding a child's generosity with his things or his time or
his strength by our expression of gratitude, and by showing him that
his generosity makes it possible for us to be more generous to him.
By all these means, then, we will be laying the foundations for that
highest lesson which only God's grace can teach our children that the
greatest joy of all is to be found in "spending oneself and being spent
for the sake of the elect." If our children have begun to learn that
lesson by the time they reach maturity, then we need have no fears
about their future, for they will have the basic preparation for
whatever form of Christ-like action that the Lord has in mind for them.
Study Questions
1. What is the connection between the sacrament of Confirmation and
work?
2. How do the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, especially counsel, help us in
our daily work?
3. How does the work of the housewife fill the four-fold work of
Christ?
4. List the basic responsibilities of parents for their children's
development, as outlined by the author.
5. Explain the difference between active and passive entertainment, and
summarize the author's attitude toward Passive recreation.
Discussion Topics
1. Review the author s evaluation of motives and methods of purchasing
goods. Is it true that bargains mean that "somebody is getting cheated"
or else that the bargain label is only a label? Is there room for
improvement in our methods and motives of purchasing? What might be the
effects on children if they observe failures in justice and charity in
their parents in the economic area?
2. List practical suggestions for activity by the children (at the
various age levels) which will help them develop a Christian sense of
responsibility. Is it possible to put too much responsibility on
children before they are ready for it? to give them too little?
3. Discuss practical ways for enabling children to achieve active forms
of work and recreation to offset the temptation to be mere viewers of
TV and movies. What encouragement do we offer our children for group
games? for good reading? for dancing? playing musical instruments?
Would it be possible for like-minded Christian families to adopt an
informal program so their children could enjoy Christian recreation
together?
4. Discuss ways and means of raising standards in regard to the quality
of things made and purchased. What should be done to develop an
appreciation for classical music for artistic paintings and statues and
home furnishings? What can be--suggested for raising the level of
sacred art in the home?
5. Discuss the author's emphasis on the fact that Christian living is
dominated by the idea of enjoyment of doing, and of doing for others."
What are the sources of the Christian's joy? What natural and
supernatural means are available to aid the Christian family in
achieving this joyous atmosphere?
Continue:
The Christian Pattern
Our Neighbors
"...You Did It Unto Me"
Things
Places
Work
Training for Life's Work and Play
Vocations
Redeeming the Times
Sex Education
Attaining Our Ideals
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